fibrosis | ___ open post.

[ D'avin wakes up sure of a handful of things, which is kind of nice, considering it wasn't all that long ago he woke up sure only that he was sure of nothing. First: this is definitely not his bed. Second: he is definitely sober, because third, which is Alvis, whose bed this definitely is, has all these ideas about informed consent, and ...honestly, if you're going to have Questionably Good Decision sex you might as well do it sober.

None of which means everything in the Jay hasn't just become complicated by a factor of holy times shit, - which we are regurgitating even if it's cheating, because that's a fucking great line - because hooking up with someone he sees on a regular basis hadn't turned out to be a great idea with Pawter, a catastrophically worse one with Dutch, and frankly D'avin is beginning to think he should probably just turn to celibacy. This would be a fantastic irony, given where he is right now, except that like, scarbacks are in no way celibate.

So, because the senior Jaqobis is not the smoothest slide on the ride at the best of times, his mouth decides to address this situation before his brain can, meaning he mumbles, before even moving from where said mouth is mushed face down in the pillow: ]

Is this going to get weird? It's going to get weird, isn't it.

[ .........wow ]

Uh--

[ D'avin emerges from his protective cocoon, at least enough for eye contact. He is a gigantic person who takes over beds, by the way, so it's good Alvis is like ...a creature of smallish compactness. ]

I mean. Hi.

[ he'd been careful in his gathering of certain levels of awareness the night before - and he's well aware of the different levels wherein that sort of thing can exist and pertain, and while personally he tends towards the concrete, there are those amongst his order who don't, which leaves it all to be a matter of opinion. spiritual though he might be, alvis has never not been a practical individual, and he doesn't want any sort of odd regression or misunderstanding due to any sort of other misunderstanding that may or may not have even been acknowledged at the time. clarity is a hard-earned but valuable commodity in the Quad, much less in Westerley specifically.

honestly it's the fact that he was careful and certain that will make the moments immediately following his bed buddy's reappearance in the conscious world all the more likely to be cherished.

d'avin, as ever, does not disappoint.

alvis wakes up before d'av - years of early dawn mediation and natural rhythms unlikely to ever change - but decides to enjoy the moment instead of moving to start his regular day. dawns come and go all the time, but the opportunity to read a little bit and wait for apparently the mountain he woke up alongside to wake up in turn is just a little bit too enticing. ]

Good morning. [ totally even, as though he didn't even hear the whole comment about how this was going to get weird, except ] I'd figured you'd already think it was weird.

[ d'avin makes one of those mouth-and-eye gestures that seem like he's about to confirm, yes, it's already weird: for once, his relationship with alvis thus far has been fraught, to say the least, and he'll always find scarbacks and their presence in the quad somewhat bemusing in general. this is, maybe, because the kind of pain it would take to redeem the carnage that litters his past like the ship graveyards that spatter asteroid belts--that kind of pain kills people, or at least flays them open irrevocably. so he can't help feeling like there's some quality in alvis that will always be untouchable, even when d'avin is standing right next to him.

or taking over most of the mattress, as the case may be. he's conscious enough now to at least roll up on his side, hand crammed under one cheek supported by an elbow. is it already weird? ]

Comparatively speaking? Actually not so much.

[ the kind of rueful that is trying to warm itself with humor, succeeding enough to make a few sparks. instances it's not necessary to name, since everyone in oldtown seems to know everything about everyone: alvis is not his therapist, no one is currently being murdered, or - for future reference - exploding into horrifying green goo. That these are his barometers for a successful morning after don't really bear contemplation. ]

We just...know all the same people. That gets weird. Or maybe it doesn't if you're all inscrutable and--

[ a wavy hand gesture with the arm not under his head, apparently meant to indicate alvis levitating. this seems like it could happen, and d'avin would be a little creeped out and yet somehow charmed from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes. ]

--floaty. I don't know.

If you'd prefer, I'm sure I can always figure something creepy out.

[ 8D

but really, it's not as though alvis is immune to how scarbacks might be received by someone from outside the quad. he's not even entirely sure about all the specifics of his own belief system and how they came to be, and there are always the more practical issues, such as some people being unable to handle blood or suspension. part of being open hearted is being open minded, and alvis is also just political enough to know that he needs to understand the people he interacts with if he wants them to ever listen to him.

it just happens that he enjoys messing with some of those people too. right now, not so much messing with as joking around, in the way that humour tends to make people feel more at ease. which is a concept d'avin is clearly familiar with - when he tells alvis that he's floaty, alvis almost laughs. he does of does, with that sort of amused exhalation people do. ] I'm "floaty". [ because he has no idea what the hand gesture meant; he's guessing it was a placeholder while d'av placed the word he was looking for. which was apparently "floaty." alvis is very amused. also he shifts around a little bit now that he's got some space to do so. he mostly still stays where he was, but he hadn't moved much for a while. ] I'm not sure how I'm meant to take that.

Yeah, no, anything creepy can wait 'til I'm not naked, thanks.

[ unless they like, both went to sleep in full sets of armor, but i'm frankly assuming at least one of them is naked until jossed. either way d'avin's face is now at full scrunch, which is incredibly powerful when a person has the nose and septum and mouth luke macfarlane does. he irons it out to explain 'floaty,' or at least attempt it, emphasis on the latter. ]

You know, floaty. Your whole I'm a monk and thus slightly above reality at all times, sometimes by gross, icky giant hooks, sometimes just hovering off the ground...thing.

[ a moment of giant, beseeching eyes, fringed by absurdly long lashes, after which d'avin seems to realize he probably can't make 'floaty' make sense as an attribute and groans, flopping momentarily back into the pillow. He scrubs a hand over the back of his skull through short-clipped hair, like he can wake his brain up, but it only helps so much. Probably only the religious, the military, and prison inmates are conditioned so effectively to wake up at dawn, but frankly the military didn't require much beyond that point, so consciousness-wise uh, he gives up. ]

Look--shut up. Let's just cuddle.

[ d'avin has an unfortunate habit of often being all, yes, i am a huge man carrying an equally huge gun, don't test my manness!!!!! but. he's also a cuddler, and there is nothing unmanful about that. ]

I'll keep that in mind.

[ he'll get into the morning rituals after he's handed you your pants, because alvis is a considerate person like that. so considerate, in fact, that he listens politely without interrupting to whatever description it is d'avin is trying to come up with to explain his word choice. he might look a little confused when it comes out that d'av apparently thinks he can levitate?? because he doesn't really ever remember doing that but man it would be cool

but anyway, the eyes are hilarious and sparkly and it's okay he noticed you already, and if he's surprised at all about the cuddling invitation (he's mostly not, tbh; d'avin is a Big Tough Guy in spirit more than at heart and alvis finds that pretty obvious) he doesn't show it. why would he do anything but move over enough to accept the, uh, borderline order. ]

Are you always this talkative when you first wake up?

[ look, when the levitation happens, d'avin will be there to say he told you so. that is all. anyway, because there's no point in being a slab of person if you can't spoon smaller ones that's what's happening, at that almost right angle where eye contact can still be made. this probably involves some mild manhandling (monkhandling?), but this is not really that d'avin likes to give directions in these situations so much as it is a symptom of the reason he is even chattier than usual. Back when he'd been mired in guilt and self-loathing and the constant frustration that was not being able to remember why, he'd been more of a brooder. Certainly the man Dutch and Johnny rescued from the slaver ship couldn't have been described as playful.

That dealt with, though (lingering repercussions aside, some of those he'll just have to learn how to live with), he is a much lighter, much dorkier person, who uses words like floaty and owns them, thanks so much. But then, of course, came the secondary crisis of every time he has had sex in the Quad it seems to lead to increasing degrees of catastrophe. Thus, he kind of sighs into the top of Alvis's head: ]

Only when I'm nervous. Just ...try not to die or decide we should get married or--shit, turn into a tentacle monster, that'd be new--in the next five minutes and we'll be good.

[ you know, normally alvis is the one saying the weird shit in conversations - he's not sure how he feels about having it mildly reversed on him like this. d'avin's track record recently isn't something that comes up between himself and any of their little band of crazy people, but it is hard not to hear about it when one of those crazy people sort of kills someone above the bar. even then, that's about the extent of his awareness though. ]

We slept all night. [ alvis points out. there's actually already been a substantial amount of time that passed between the action and right now, if that helps d'avin out any. ] Well not all night, but.

[ but on a slightly more serious note, alvis shifts a little into the new warmth being offered, because why not, and considers things for a couple moments. ] Is there anything I can do to help?

[ d'avin's track record probably goes so undiscussed because of the uh, carnage in the middle, otherwise their little band of crazy people would probably take every opportunity to tease him about it. still, even though he's had more kindness than anyone has any right to expect from that quarter, alvis's inquiry still makes his expression twist in fond bemusement, d'avin sort of ...chinning the top of his head. it's affectionate, there's just no other way to describe that gesture. ]

Like I said. Try not to die.

[ or any of that other weirdness. ] I know it's a low bar.

[ an amused rumble that ricochets the whole way up through his chest. he can probably only sound - and feel, genuinely - amused and not like he's about to go play in traffic a little because alvis is--well, alvis. the fact that he says weird shit all the time is kind of comforting, since it has the effect of leveling d'avin's own weirdness to what feels like manageable capacity. ]

Edited (dropped a word) 2017-01-24 09:09 (UTC)

[ it's hard to dislike the way d'avin pulls him in, feeling muscles over his scalp-and-ever-present-braids shift in some sort of movement at first, only to feel the pressure of how people try to sort of physically internalize the things they like or enjoy. it's instinctive, to bring the things we like into ourselves, and being sort of tucked into the neck - even if it's the back of your head - is telling in ways that might not be immediately apparent. alvis isn't actually sure why they come to mind in moments like this, but even though they add a layer of reality, they reinforce the importance of the moment just the same.

'try not to die' does admittedly sort of twist the moment, but he feels like he can work with that. there are many amongst his responsibility who feel as though they are unworthy of what could be readily given - d'avin isn't in entirely the same situation, but the mentality and logistics aren't too different. alvis pushes slightly more into d'avin's warmth and solidity, his inherent protection even if it might not be necessary right now. he's not worried. ]

Neither one of us is actually that short. You can probably set it a little higher.

[ while it might not be necessary in the moment, there is an unrealized pocket of d'avin's brain that appreciates, on a very visceral level, being allowed to feel protective regardless. on every previous occasion of violence he's been the problem, even when not the aggressor, even if a certain argument can be made for passivity.

this is not at all uncorrelated with how, when alvis pushes a little closer, d'avin tightens his arms, reflexively. so ...basically if he wanted to go anywhere, or do anything, that is not be right here (being him, d'avin would say, if he had the frame of reference), for the next uh, while, apparently that is just unacceptable. on a completely instinctive, animal level--well, even the back of the head that close to the jugular is still putting it pretty close to teeth, and this is less, at the end of the day, about d'avin wanting to trust someone else in that capacity, as it is trusting himself. ]

I'm not that short. Dunno about you.

[ hurr, hurr. the height jokes will probably not continue, because alvis is only short comparatively; for a reasonably sized person he'd be about average, but--the point is still that he's joking a little, meaning the possibility of instant death is slightly further away. to wit: ]

Okay. Raising the bar here, no death aaaand--breakfast? [ a pause, which sounds like 'uhhhh' despite how it's silent and only lasts a second ] I don't even know if you eat breakfast.

[ this is readable as 'because we have not spent the night together on prior occasions,' but actually means 'is breakfast razor blades or something,' because d'avin is still sort of an uneducated dick about scarbacks. ]

[ in return, in all honesty, while he would be hard-pressed to admit it - even in relation to how hard-pressed alvis might be to admit anything else - it... doesn't feel bad. to be protected. he knows he has allies, and he knows he has friends, but at the same time, he knows he stands alone amongst most of them as a beacon, or a leader. his time in westhole didn't necessarily prove anything he wasn't already aware of, but at the same time, it's difficult to actually come out of there with precisely the same instincts. instincts that are in fact latent things exacerbated by current events, here and there.

the times he finds himself in situations where it's okay to feel this okay are few and far, and farther still where he knows the feeling is more than situational, but real.

it's dumb, but if someone came through the door right now, he knows each one of them would protect the other as much as they could. morbid reassurance, potentially, but in oldtown more often than not you settle for what you can get. ]

Didn't hear any complaints before.

[ bc okay look he has to say something, re: height, at least, as he moves one of his legs back to tangle with the Oh So Taller Man. ]

Breakfast sounds great. [ Good call D'av. Alvis is actually hungry. Look there was actually a bit of genuine inflection. ]

[ the thing is: you can leave the military, but you will never not be a soldier, no matter where you go or what else you do. d'avin's particularly upsetting experience aside, what that means is when you decide to protect someone else, you mean it. the line between that and self-defense becomes thin as piano wire, because for better or worse you are making that someone else part of you.

so yeah. morbidity aside, d'avin would do that. ]

Hey, no complaints! Zero complaining, to a power of negative complaint...ism.

[ fine, so it sort of fell apart at the end there. no one will have time to pay attention to this, because the next statement out of alvis's mouth makes d'avin sit marginally more up, mostly so he can plant an arm on the other side of his (alvis's--i hate pronouns) head, looking down at him with mock-suspicious mirth. ]

Wait, wait--waaaait a second. Who are you and what have you done with Alvis?

[ inflection! this is obviously an imposter. ]

[ if hearing phrases like that wasn't something alvis was somewhat accustomed to from various directions and individuals, he might mock d'avin for it. there's also the whole thing where he doesn't have time to do that, because his comfortable, warm, solid pillow is suddenly shifting around him and honestly he was kind of comfortable, that was kind of nice, and this is kind of mildly startling in the whole 'not the reaction i was expecting to that' kind of way.

this isn't to say that he doesn't just sort of appear to be levelly watching d'avin shift, and aside from a momentary reflexive glance to the side when there's an arm next to his head, he keeps looking at d'avin's face. ]

I know, it's surprising. We're not actually vampires though, despite all the blood rituals.

[ in the course of this tag, narrative learned that if you accidentally try to type both their names at once it becomes apparent this ship's namesmush would be alvin, as in he of the chipmunks, and once that happens your immersion is just toast, my friend.

...anyway. ]

[ apparently the breakfast adventure is on hold for just a second in favor of settling back down, which--is really fairly self-centered on d'avin's part as much as intuiting anything alvis might want comfort wise; he is personally not ready to emerge from the warm little cocoon here. even if it is, as established, full of foreign objects like plants. ]

Not that, you dick. [ affectionately. ]

I just don't think I've ever heard you sound that excited about anything.

[ ...which should feel kind of insulting, given. last night's givens, but doesn't. ]

[ i have one word to say to you my friend: d'avis. it even sounds like birds. it's uplifting, and doesn't remind me of this one song thing i did in a talent show.

ANYWAY ]

[ i meant to say that alvis had, for a split second when d'avin started to move almost immediately after he had expressed an interest in breakfast, thought that d'avin was just going to apparently spring out of bed and start locating food, because for some reason d'avin was maybe also hungry and waiting, or... something?? the thought ended really before alvis could actually figure out where it was going, but. it did happen for a split second and it was worth mentioning even belatedly.

alvis is only very slightly disappointed food is on hold, because he actually is fairly hungry already, but he doesn't mind putting it off because yes this is nice. still. now that the heating pad has settled back down. alvis might be hungry but he's also still settling back against d'av now that the other man has in turn settled back down. ]

Next time you come over we can open that drawer over there then, if that's the problem.

[ nay, when food is to be gathered they will go together. in that grossly obvious 'ah look at us wandering the street together all twitterpated' configuration no one can stand early in the morning. thus, in the meanwhile:]

You don't say.

[ this is just 'hmmm' with actual words in it, covering a whole slew of things: one, no matter how casual this is, or isn't, or ...who knows, it's always nice to hear there's a next time in the cards, two, given d'avin's earlier wonderings about the metallic content (haha) of alvis's possibly breakfast who knows what is in that drawer if it's going to make him inflect, ftlot (for the love of trees, naturally), and three, of course, all of that is pretty intriguing. ]

I want you to know I have a sound policy against anything that's going to bite me back. [ a pause. ] At least before I get some coffee in me.

[ is he making a great effort to keep a serious face on? you don't know, the heating pad's face is all the way back here. really thoroughly enjoying being a heating pad. ]

Edited (stray extra syllables) 2017-01-27 14:10 (UTC)

[ oh no, don't make him do that; he'd be showing personal emotion in public. his persona. what would people say?

honestly, on his side, the only level of uncertainty he has in regards to any sort of 'next time' depends on d'avin, but then again he does know that he's somewhat on the more flexible end of that sort of thing. the fact that his comment about a next time at all seems to have been taken positively is nice, even if it never winds up coming to fruition. retroactive reassurance that d'avin is still okay with what's going on, that maybe he's even forgotten - even if for a few moments - that just a couple minutes ago he was asking alvis to please be sure not to suddenly die just because of last night's events.

then again, he might have simply distracted the man, but at the moment he'll still count that as a positive considering he wasn't initially sure that would even be possible. plus, on a much more selfish and superficial route, that d'avin didn't even seem to bat an eyelash at the implication - and for all alvis knows might have even fluttered a few in interest based on that reaction - well that's also just rather encouraging isn't it? ]

You won't be the one being bitten if everything goes to plan. [ and it sounds like he might stop there for about half a second before ] Unless you want to be. [ because he wouldn't be alvis without weird lead-ins and significant pauses. speaking of that, actually: ] Does a 'sound policy' just refer to sounds or are you saying that's a hard no before caffeine? Those might have different implications.

[ probably the same thing they would say about the Human Slab they usually see like, chasing someone with a tire iron. i.e. "well that's weird. anyway, time to go on about the business of trying not to starve inside this wall!"

...maybe. but meanwhile: even if d'avin has just momentarily forgotten, or is equally momentarily distracted, eventually he's going to look up and realize hey, alvis hasn't exploded yet and he, personally, has not tried to murder anyone this entire last hour! and that will be such a revelation he might fall over out of relief, so let's hope monkpants is prepared to catch him.

or has a net handy or something. at this point in time, however, d'avin shifts around enough that they can at least look at each other while not like, being any less bodily attached; apparently this means he just became alvis's body pillow, but honestly that sounds kind of awesome. and speaking of speaking of sounds (you see what happened there): ]

That's ...I dunno, at least a soft no to anything that requires batteries. Before caffeine. People teeth though?

[ 'people teeth' is, of course, the technical term; he clacks his together, helpfully. they are a little crooked in places, which is stupidly endearing to some people aka me. ]

Those're fine. A-OK, no negotiation necessary.

[ he actually makes the 👌🏻 hand, because recreational biting is serious (ly fun) business. ]

[ shhhhh let him over-analyze his own position as it relates to the scarbacks, the resistance, and his own personal interest in genuinely helping the individual regardless of whatever other agenda he might have the doesn't actually contradict but sort of sometimes might overpower that specific one despite his best efforts. not that he thinks that highly of himself, but there's a great deal of overthinking things and then dismissing them that sometimes goes hand in hand with intuition, regardless of how well suited one's gut is to working things out for itself.

monkpants can definitely catch him, even if they're out getting breakfast, to disregard literally everything in my first paragraph. what he'll actually do with an armful of relieved ex-soldier once that's happened though - that will depend entirely on the moment.

body pillows are great. honestly alvis is quietly pleased with all the contact - he's been aware as to how his particular method of practising faith can be odd, and even specifically so to d'avin here and there, and while he's got little issue getting casual contact it's still... nice. to receive it from a friend like this. because like it or not they are friends, and more or less have been by default both via their own interaction and because of their other mutual relationships. alvis doesn't often make connections that are this... he's not even sure how to categorize it. that are this. it's appreciated, on a level that he'll probably never be able to articulate save through pretend spiders and dusty junk. ]

People teeth. As opposed to all those other ones I keep handy, damn. [ and really dry commentary, which is in no way at all contradicted by adjusting slightly to be more comfy in this new position d'avin's given them both. also bless gmail for apparently displaying symbols chrome won't?? the 'okay' gesture is dorky even by alvis' standards, but he mostly keeps that to himself bc it's also cute and he won't admit that either. ] I don't keep very much here but caffeine could likely be arranged.

[ ........wait that sounds really like. 'commit'y. maybe that's not right rn. ]

Should it be necessary.

Hey,

[ inflects d'avin, all mock-offended-- ]

I don't know what kind of teeth you keep around. It could be a scarback thing to wear them as jewelry.

[ ... ]

Come to think of it, that does sound like a scarback thing.

[ Either he really is this blithely airheaded, or he's playing that up, set rough and scratchy against the dry commentary. More of this, what makes it, them, this. This friction that works somehow, wearing away surface impurities all the way down to the reflection underneath. The idea that they're more alike than either of them would, previously, have particularly cared to admit got tacitly passed between them, probably between the pretend spiders and dusty junk.

Anyway, if D'avin parses caffeine as particularly 'commit'y, he doesn't say so. Or maybe he's perfectly okay with at least a little of that commitment business. ]

It's totally, absolutely, vitally necessary. If you can get it without getting up.

[ Out of this huge manacle-armed full body hug, that is. ]

Edited 2017-03-04 15:50 (UTC)

___ open post.

presumably before 2/06 because after that would be uh. kind of weird, in a threesome by proxy way.

i know this is out of order re: current alvis tags but i can't help it; also works for me

i made myself wait to do this it was genuinely a struggle >_>

did the whole tag, went to pick out an icon, realised i'd turned alvis into tony

... that would have been incredible

https://images.plurk.com/2BXsAeXR4e68hyJpzfKB.jpg

...wait when wasn't it

idk i just found it while i was looking for the other thing yesterday and laughed a lot

i heard it in billy's connelly's voice so that was pretty great

ngl i'm kind of jealous

no subject

one day i'll have more than seven icons and that day will be when i suddenly have 200

no subject

still laughing @ 'is breakfast razor blades' btw. alvis is horrible halloween candy now

the kind children are warned about

exactly. .....which is hilarious bc it's /alvis/

idk i think some parents would warn their children about sadomasochistic theosophers

nah i think there are plenty of roman catholics around

oh, some protestant parents definitely warned their kids about those, especially in the 50s

i like that they're talking about biting here and dutch is already there in the other thread

jesus christ i am SO SHAMED by how long this took